How to surpass Hitchcock? Vine cat

How to surpass Hitchcock? Vine cat

It happened in the last century, this year in 1998. We lived then on the 4th floor in a house with large balconies-loggias. On the balcony vines grappled, and in the end of August my mother-in-law collected about a kilogram of tight amber brushes …

In the house we had two cats. The sullen, old-timer old Murlik and the thin black nouveau riche Djinn. He was taken to raise the tone of Murlik, but instead of the cat’s tone ours, human, took off. For days on end, we ran with my mother-in-law, trying to calm the ubiquitous black paws. Lapki rejoiced in full force and did not want to calm down.

Our intelligent Moore just stared. He did not even have time to slam them when a bowl of food was right under his nose. The bowl was returning, but its contents disappeared without a trace in the bottomless depths of the Ginkina stomach. Murlik was indignant (and then doomed), shaking his ears and leaving, proudly raising his tail. Soon the cats began to eat in different places. In this case, Jeanne was very disappointed. He squinted in disapproval towards Murlik, but the whole family stood guarding the Murlikov bowl.

However, I will return to the grapes. Imagine the summer. Hot Summer. A very hot Baku summer. Streams of molten blue flow from the sky. The vine leaves hung sadly on their still desperately green petioles. Mura sleeps, sticking out her tongue. Judging by the movements of his paws, he dreams of ice cream and a cold okroshka on kefir. Bipeds wander around the apartment in anticipation of the evening and relative coolness.

Suddenly my mother-in-law: “Genie, Jinka, where are you?” Further, as in the first chapter of Tom Sawyer: “The Genie!” There is no answer. “Genie!” The genie disappeared.

We look under the beds, sofas, tables. No. The bathroom is not either. In the pantry (a pantry with products !!!), too.

Mother-in-law runs to the balcony. Pots and tubs with flowers are pristine. They do not have a trace of the robber paws of a black scoundrel. My mother-in-law gasps and turns pale. The remaining members of the family are connected to the search, including my one-year-old daughter, who wiggles her pens and joyfully yells: “Myn, Myn.” “Myn” is silent.

Two hours of searching. We already managed to run into the yard and outside. Mura woke up and watched in amazement with the turmoil. “Myna” is not.

Mother-in-law drops tears. In a rush of tender feelings, Jinna says goodbye to everything: broken vases, torn curtains, cornices torn from meat, stolen sausages, stolen pastry, inverted bowls of soup and fish sticks under the pillow. Our imagination draws us scary pictures: the Genie under the wheels of the car, the Genie in the sewer hatch, the Genie dying of hunger at the top of the tree, the Genie …

Suddenly, from somewhere in the vineyard, from the balcony, a terrible scream is heard. No, it was not a cry, it was a screech of unknown decibel force: “Wai !!! Va-ah-ay-th-th !!! “We freeze.

A ruffled black muzzle appears from the vines. Next to her appears a met by a neighbor …

Oh, it was a sight! The tangled hair hangs over the high forehead with a cloud. Pulling eyes on a pale face. Colorful dressing gown on a lean body.

A neighbor is an Azerbaijani from Georgia. While stretching her thin arms to the mother-in-law of her mother-in-law, she began to explain in broken Russian: “I was asleep, I thought I was dead, I was in jhehennem (hell – author’s comment), and this is not looking at the curtain.”

Translated into a calm human, this meant the following. The neighbor decided to relax in the shade on the balcony. I spread out the cot and took a nap. It turns out that our reptile made his way through the grapes, sat down on her chest and stared in the face with interest.

In general, a neighbor can be understood. Imagine: peacefully you sleep to yourself, you do not touch anyone, peacefully you open your eyes – and on you in framing of grape leaves absolutely black muzzle with bright yellow eyes looks! Hitchcock resting …

Joyful mother-in-law nodded to the indignant outpourings of her neighbor. “Chertikum” at this time slipped into the kitchen to absorb food. Still would! For a free show with a considerable dose of adrenaline, a full dinner of three dishes.Dry food, soup, chicken pieces.

Then the Genie, with a sense of accomplishment, stretched out on the couch and closed his eyes. All right, stop! Rest, rest and once again rest. Tomorrow in the program …

However, the genie is a creative nature. The question of the program was decided tomorrow in real time. But that’s another story …

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