We continue our previous conversation about children, their parents, as well as about funny stories, with all this connected. The most common family history is not a friendly view of the Yeralash newsreel, it’s a quarrel.
You can quarrel differently, you can throw stools at each other, you can beat expensive grandmother’s service and so on, ad infinitum. However, if a child is present in the family, then the family scandal should be limited to some limits. We will talk about these necessary restrictions today.
First, it should be borne in mind that the abusive words pronounced in the child automatically become allowed for him. Here, however, you can argue that the profanity can become known to the child and without your participation. This is true, but it is important that he realizes that such expressions are not used in the family. And that the authoritative people, what you are for your child, do not like such words.
We perfectly understand that a family quarrel without abusive words is something unthinkable and even fantastic. And therefore there is only one way out. If you are overwhelmed by the unbearable desire to call your half, it is better in this case to use not well-known expressions. These expressions, in addition to their main purpose, will help to maintain a sense of the integrity of the family and the common language for the spouses.
If you are experiencing some difficulty in these most not well-known expressions, you can even try to conduct a small joint creative work to create them. As psychologists say, a joint search by spouses for abusive words for each other favors a good mutual understanding in the future.
Well, sorting out this way with bad words, let’s see how the strategy of a family scandal in the presence of a child should develop at all. Firstly – and this is the main thing, one should categorically exclude the turnover related to the status of the father, or the mother in the house. Categorically! By questioning the status of the spouse, you will make the child doubt him, he does not understand that it is you, but you do not really think so. Such a quarrel afterwards, after a lapse of months or even years, can turn into a tragedy.
Secondly, try never to generalize. If the conflict unfolds around the broken cup, then take up a cup and do not claim that someone who broke it, hands do not grow from that place. By this generalization, you automatically exclude the possibility of confessing guilt. After all, with a broken cup you can agree, but with “improperly growing hands” – in no way.
Well, thirdly, try to formulate all your claims only in the form of “I-statements”. That is, try not to call your opponent, but only to express your attitude to his actions, not passing to the person.
After completing these recommendations, you will quarrel painlessly and … (I can not find words, but I want to add something) … better!