How to get to Old Kukkovka? The monologue of the “bombard”

How to get to Old Kukkovka? The monologue of the “bombard”

Susanin … Where ?! “Left, right” … Where did you take me to? Immediately the impasse! You yourself how? When was the last time there? What … How did you finish school and that’s it? More in the city, no nose, or anything else – did not show? And school? Ten years ago? Well, then it’s clear …

Then do not pretend to be a connoisseur here. And just say “me on” … On Kotovsky? By the way, Kotovsky has a street and a lane. So you? .. Lane?

Well, it’s Old Kukkovka. It was necessary from the station directly along Krasnoarmeyskaya and through Rovio. That’s what you and I drew on Drevlyanka? Right now, or go back to the center. Or on the ring to Kukkovka, and there already … It’s shorter, and there are no traffic lights, but … Since the summer they’ve ripped the road and left it.

A-aa … I was not there! There, where the n-ho-ta will not pass … Where only we with my Swallow …

Well, so … What am I talking about?

There was a merry time, bratella. The nineties. It’s like – remember? – Rhett Butler said Margaret Mitchell:

– Ka-a-ak were years … When in the morning from nothing … From the air millions arose! And towards evening they turned into dust …

Out of thin air! Do you imagine? .. The truck left for Yaroslavl … Everything. Lemon, count, you already have it in your pocket.

There is nothing impossible in this life. And a bear can be taught to dance. And we? .. We are not bears with you, bratella?

So it is necessary – we will go skiing. We must do ice cream. Or money. Believe me, to forge a coin is not at all more difficult than ice cream.

By the way. What year are you?

You’re not lucky, brother. As the Colonel in the “Shagreen’s Skin”. Poured because Murat. And the character. And delete the hussar. And courage. Yes, that’s not lucky, the poor fellow … Born six years later than you should. Therefore, never … Never be to him Murat!

Here you are … Never breathe the full bosom of this intoxicating air of luck. Do not feel dizzy with success and mild tingling of needles in the tips … On the pads of the fingers.

What about money? .. Dust. Today there is, and tomorrow … Today money is like dung. There is no time, tomorrow tomorrow!

Where are those nineties? .. Au-u-u-u …

And the joint venture that once was – too. I do not have it either! Although ice cream around … Bottles just.

And our … What itself asked for language and there was melting, melting … Not in the hands! On the tongue! Not-that …

Well, the Americans, under the noise of their business with grants from the government and supplies of equipment that was used up, were tipped off. We are without any noise. Slowly. Your line was bent …

Do you know what I do not like most in people? I hate it simply! Human greed …

What we are, that our co-founders, American partners … Lovely are scolded, only teshutsya. Who is the chicken carrying golden eggs, its, this, this hand, and under the knife?

Our state … It’s not enough for her, not enough. All taxes will be paid, but all the same. As you do not persuade, you do not sleep peacefully.

The value added tax was then twenty percent. With the exception of goods, the list of which is determined by the Government of Russia. Chernomyrdin signs the decree that all … ALL dairy products are taxed at a rate of half the amount.

Decree signs. It is printed where it is supposed to. It enters, accordingly, into legal force … Well, we, naturally:

– Ur-rya-aa, Vitya! Ur-rya-aa! Gazprom is a FOREVER!

And – to execute the document. We consider the prices according to the approved rate not by someone there, the government (!), The rate, the products are shipped, the money – to the account. Taxes paid. The rest – in the case. Well, after deducting your own profit …

We live-work. Month, other. And six months later … Taxisers come running with a-o-from such protruding eyes. Not otherwise, their bosses called from Moscow, and they twisted the tail, saying that they were so little in their beaks: “What?” Where? For what reason? ..
– So the decree … Milk products!
– What are dairy products? Ice cream? Yes it’s ice frozen!

Well, do not figure yourself … “Ice”! What is the ice, if the main component of production is cream? The same milk, only with fatness – higher. And fillers? Cocoa beans, cranberries, nuts, other garbage … Also, at the rate of ten percent. Consider the whole mixture that goes to the freezer … Whence then twenty?

Or the all-Russian classifier of goods. Black on white o-fi-tsi-alnym body of standardization it is registered, that ice cream – in section молокопродукты.

For the whole of Russia the document. And the tax … a special opinion. “Frozen ice”. Pay-ti-te! And collection to the account. The hidden tax, fine and penalty for every day of delay …

Mom my … Bring me back! The lawlessness is complete. Where there is a brother before these …

Naturally, we are in court. All have won. Just nothing. The court of first instance. Appeal. Cassation. Six months had to prove that we are not camels, but an all-Russian classifier, it is for everyone, including for taxation.

For some reason … As long as they were tried, the collection companies were hanging. And how to pay the Pension Fund? They do not accept cash at the checkout.

– Come on in cash!

It’s easy to say. How do I do this if the account is blocked? And then, by the way, only one account in the bank could have been. And that’s all. There is no democracy in this matter, as it is today. Just now – not at all the same.

So the fines came running. By the interest for each day of delay. Multiply by half a year. The battle with the tax was won, and the enterprise … went into bankruptcy. Do you want to shut down successful production? The tax inspector came to him …

Well, what? Here it is, your alley. Two houses. You want to go left, you want to the right … And me further … Bomb.

As agreed, remember? For the conversation – you do not have to pay extra, this is so, such as an additional service. To sleep not so much like …

Well, as you know … I’m not proud. I will not refuse. Here, take a card. Little did that … At its best! Do not look at me that the Swallow is not fair. So it is – og-gon. All – in me.

Okay, bro … Happily.

– And you – do not get sick!

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